One Too Many
by Cybrind
Summary: Just a quick bit of DA2 fun. F!Hawke having romance issues.


Varric sighs heavily as he gently lays Bianca down. His finger tips slip along her form adoringly. He tugs his coat off slipping his arms from the sleeves wincing at the pain in his side. That blasted coiter got a lucky slice at him. Damned assassin. He suddenly feels his age. How is that even possible?  
>He tosses his coat on a chair and sits exhausted on his bed. His eyes widen at the sudden hiss. "What the..." He hops up, grabs Bianca and whips around aiming his crossbow at his bed. "Alright, who ever you are... come out slowly."<br>"Shhh... I'm hiding."  
>"Hawke?"<br>"Shhh!"  
>He sets Bianca back down and scratches his head wearily. "What are you doing?"<br>"Hiding!" Comes her strangled whisper. "And if you don't keep your voice down they'll find me."  
>Varric chuckles and shakes his head. "Come on out, Hawke. Let's talk."<br>Reluctantly, Hawke peeks out from under his bed with dust bunnies in her otherwise black short coif. "Only if you buy me a pint."  
>"You're the one with a mansion, you should be buying me a pint." He grins. "What could possibly be going on to rattle the Champion of Kirkwall?"<br>Hawke fluffs her hair to shake out any dust bunnies and pouts down at him. "I'll give you two guesses and I'm sure you'll be right on both accounts."  
>"Love trouble... I should have known." Varric walks to his door and hollers down to the barmaid for the pints before returning to his table and taking a seat. "You want to talk about this?"<br>Hawke falls rather ungracefully across the chair and sighs. "Men can be such babies."  
>Varric laughs. "And women are so much easier?"<br>"Yes!" Hawke nods emphatically. "I know where I stand with Isabella. We have fun. We go our separate ways and have fun elsewhere. No complications, no strings, just lusty fun."  
>"And I take it the brooding brothers take offense." Elena enters with pints. Varric grins up at her as Hawke tosses coins on the table. "What did you expect? Men are territorial. We want what we want and we don't share our toys well."<br>Hawke curls up in the chair and pouts. "I'm no toy, Varric." Taking a long drink from her pint she visibly relaxes. "How is it I can talk to you about these things?" She leans her head against the back of the chair. "You've never once tried to bed me. Am I that repulsive?"  
>Varric snorts. "I figured you have enough dissent in the ranks. Do you really need me to add to your troubles?" Varric stares in his mug contemplating.<br>"I don't suppose so." Varric grins and takes a long drink. Her eyes watch his throat as he swallows traveling to his tuft of hair exposed on his broad chest. "Still, I've never been with a dwarf..."  
>Varric sputters and chokes on his ale laughing. "I sometimes forget how direct you are."<br>She grins back. "Yes, no coy banter with me I'm afraid." She sighs softly lifting her mug to her lips. "Not tonight at any rate... I don't seem to have it in me to deal with a man."  
>Varric snorts. "Oh? And I'm not a man?"<br>Hawke chuckles. "Oh you're a man, it just isn't-"  
>Her words are cut short by a commotion outside his door. She growls, hops up and dives for his bed leaving Varric at the table chuckling. He finishes his ale and sets his empty mug down as his door comes crashing open.<br>"Varric..."  
>"Blondie." Varric remains at the table and watches with interest as Anders looks hurriedly around the room as if searching for something or rather for someone.<br>"Have you seen, Hawke?" Anders' eyes are narrowed, his face grim and he looks behind him several times within the span of a minute.  
>"Hawke? Human woman, about five-seven, possibly one twenty-five, short sikly black hair, silvery gray eyes that can melt even the strongest man's resolve, soft lips of red wine... that Hawke?" Varric smirks as his words paint a picture.<br>Anders' look softens, he sighs. "Yes, that Hawke." He glances behind him, his look hardens. "She... she left... rather suddenly and I can't find her." He glances behind him again. "I really need to-"  
>"Leave her alone." Fenris snarls entering. "Haven't you done enough damage, mage?"<br>Varric heaves himself out of his chair. "As enjoyable as your visits are gentlemen, I suggest you take it elsewhere. I'm expecting a lovely someone and I doubt she will want interruptions." He glances pointedly at the extra mug on the table. "It is a private affair... if you catch my intention." Varric grins broadly.  
>"I... oh." Anders has the decency to nod curtly and back out of the room.<br>Fenris' shoulders slump momentarily seeing the mug. He gives Varric another look. "Varric-"  
>"The man wants you to leave. Or did you not understand him?" Anders sneers from the doorway.<br>Fenris ignores Anders. "When you see her. Tell her..." He sighs heavily and shakes his head. "No... don't tell her. Maybe..." He gives Varric a pained look before straightening. "Right, I should go."  
>Varric closes his door firmly behind the pair and leans his back against it for a moment listening for any stragglers. Hawke slips out from under his bed again. "You should have them clean under there." She dusts her blouse and slacks off.<br>Varric chuckles. "A few more times of you diving under my bed, I won't need anyone to clean there."  
>"Do you know what frightens me?" Hawke returns to the table, curls her legs under here with her mug in hand.<br>"Frightens you? You're the Champion of Kirkwall. I didn't think anything frightened you." Varric grins at her. He sighs at her pained look. "What frightens you, Hawke?"  
>She stares sightlessly in to her mug and bites her lip. "Sebastian may be right. I've made such a mess of my relationships. Maybe I should consider being chaste."<br>Varric doesn't merely sit in his chair he falls in it as if punched in the stomach. "Woof. Now those are some words I never thought I'd hear from you." He scratches his stubbly chin. "That's a bit of a drastic change don't you think?"  
>"I've been talking in length with Grand Cleric Ethenia. She's amazingly clear in her faith. So unwavering, so strong. I admire that." Hawke continues staring in to her mug. "I wonder if I'd have to give up ale... that could be a deal breaker."<br>Varric chuckles and shakes his head. "I never know when to believe you, Hawke. You could be the story teller instead of me."  
>"Nah..." She shakes her head and sighs. "But it is something to think on, that's for sure."<br>"You're serious?" Varric peers at her.  
>"Would you still love me?" She grins coyly.<br>"Of course..." Varric sits back. "I'm just not sure how the others will take this news. You know how Blondie feels about the Chantry."  
>"Screw Blondie and his feelings. What about mine?" She frowns. "Those two bicker like old biddies and leave me diving under your bed for comfort. What sort of life is that?" She takes a long drink. "You do realize Fenris knows I'm here. Don't you?"<br>"I'm not surprised. His oddly cryptic parting words were a bit of a hint." He tilts his head. "So now what, Champion?"  
>"I give up on all men…" She waves an airy hand and finishes her ale. "Or not. I'm not very decisive tonight." Setting her mug down, she shivers suddenly, "Or I could just be too sober."<p>

She groans. Her head pounds relentlessly. She winces at the pain. The bed shifts. An arm pulls her closer. She whimpers and snuggles in to his embrace. Her hand slips across his chest. Her fingers curl in to the soft thick tuft of hair. She stiffens. Her eyes open. "Varric?"  
>"Hmm…" Varric stretches.<br>She shivers and props her head with her elbow. Her fingers slip through the soft hair on his chest. "Did we?"  
>He opens his eyes half way and glances at her with a smirk. "No."<br>She sighs softly in relief. "Oh good…"  
>He quirks his eyebrow at her, "Oh good?"<br>Hawke bites her lip. "I just mean… well as I said. I've never been with a dwarf. I'd hate for my first time to have been so drunk I forgot it."  
>He laughs. "Thanks."<br>Hawke lays her head back down and snuggles against him. "I think I drank too much."  
>"You did." Varric drifts back to sleep.<br>"Varric?" Her fingers toy with the hair on his chest.  
>"Hmmm…" He grins.<br>"If we didn't… why am I naked?" She props her chin on his chest. Varric's grin broadens yet he doesn't speak. "Oh, well played."


End file.
